Category Archives: Conscious Community

How do you craft the conscious community that you want to be a part of? How do you connect with great people, join a mastermind group, and build a brain trust to elevate your work further? Join me in studying how to connect deeply with others, build trust, make friends (as adults!) and find peers who resonate deeply with you.

Six questions for better conversations

I was in the car the other day with my husband, driving up to a fancy event with some quite established folks in their careers. We knew about each person, their prestige, their work, and their reputations. So I also knew that the default American question “What do you do?” wouldn’t suffice for the dinner party.

We started brainstorming a list of questions to ask people instead, and I jotted them down to remember for later. Asking people better questions is a great way into a more interesting conversation. Here’s some of what we came up with:

What puzzles are you currently working on?

I love talking to people about what they are learning, and what their process is while they are discovering, building, and grappling with a project.

What have you recently figured out? Any fun “Aha” moments in your life recently?

This one is about that feeling of unlocking something. For me, I’ve recently found a good pool and a swim routine, and I’m constantly thinking about how to adjust and iterate on my routines to garner a better day. Each little piece of the puzzle I put together is fun for me to think about.

What are you excited about right now?

This opens the door for people to tell you about their work or their hobbies—whatever lights them up. And even if the answer is, “You know, nothing—I’m in the doldrums right now,” that still gives space to go deeper in the conversation.

What did you do last weekend?

We’re obsessed with what people do during the week, and what they do for work. Flip it on its head and ask people about their weekend and their leisure activities.

Who are you learning from right now?

I like seeing who people are connected to, and who is teaching them, and what they’re learning. I’m always studying different people’s work, and I find that this is a good way to get into people’s research, thinking, and reading, without asking the question “Read any good books lately?”

What’s something that’s not obvious about you right away?

I ask this question in my Mastermind applications, and it’s a wonderful way to go beneath the surface and see who people are. It’s always a fun one, because often the answers aren’t obvious right away—and it’s really cool to hear the answers!

Going deeper: ask three questions

I’ve written about this elsewhere, but after the first question, instead of flipping back to you, ask another question, and another one. It’s the third question with someone else that’s usually at the heart of the subject and gets into the good, juicy conversation. My favorite follow-up questions are:

Tell me more about … 

What was that like for you?

What about you? What questions do you love asking people?

One Hiring Mistake I See New Entrepreneurs Make All The Time

“I’ll start a podcast and interview people I know,” someone says. Twenty episodes in, and they realize that they’ve accidentally interviewed people that look identical—all one gender, all one race. Did they do it on purpose? Of course not. Most people don’t mean to. We don’t set out to say “Hey look, I think I’ll create the most biased podcast out there and only interview people that look like me.” But when we don’t pay attention, this happens over and over again. Here’s why it happens, why it’s important to notice it, and when to intervene to change it. Read the article

How to Give Great Advice (and Why Most Advice Doesn’t Work)

It’s fun to brainstorm, to be clever, to solve things. But sometimes other people don’t need us to solve their problem, offer advice, or jump in with the perfect story. Sometimes they just need us to listen. Listening isn’t being quiet: it’s an active process. And it takes work to listen well. Here are a few strategies for being better at giving advice (without giving advice).Read the article

Start Sooner: How One Conference Kickstarted My Blog, My Business, and My Freedom

More than any course, metric, skill, or tactic, the people you surround yourself will make the biggest difference in your life and career. Conferences can be transformative experiences. When you bring people together in one place, for one weekend, to celebrate, to learn, and to connect, you leave changed.Read the article

Want More Connection?

I have a friend who seems to run into people he knows everywhere he goes. He seems like the most connected person I know. I laughed and asked him how he does it. Here’s what he shared with me.Read the article

The Introvert’s Guide to Networking at a Conference

My friend was recently excited about a conference but terrified of going and getting overwhelmed. He texted me: “Help! do you have any good networking advice for introverts at conferences?”  Conferences are a great way to meet people, and it’s one of the best ways I’ve used to reach out to new people, connect withRead the article

Humor, Comedy, and Laughter: How To Tell A Great Joke (And When It’s Not Funny)

I always cringe when someone tells a joke and it’s a joke that’s at someone else’s expense. Making fun of people isn’t great comedy. It’s cruelty disguised as humor. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt. But how do you know? What’s the difference between edgy in yourRead the article

What Questions Are You Asking? (Three Questions For Reconnection)

We are the questions we ask. We are the way we inquire, curiously, about the world we work in. As I was going through what was (for me), a difficult pregnancy, I looked to my partner and asked, time and time again: “How do I make it through this?”  It’s hard to believe now, butRead the article

How Do You Feel Before, During, and After?

Today I want to share with you about a way to connect inwardly, with yourself.  But first, a quick story. I work with coaches. A lot of coaches. I’ve worked with college coaches, swim coaches, book coaches, life coaches… you name it, I like doing it.  One of my most recent coaches has worked with me onRead the article

Send a Friend a Love Letter

I have the bad habit of hiding and holing myself away for a while. It’s when I’m deep in writing, processing, or thinking. I get a bit estranged from the connectivity of it all. When I emerge, I begin to remember things that I used to do, that I’ve forgotten. A quick sniff of myRead the article