I’m going to give myself 40 minutes to write as quickly as possible without editing, because if I don’t write something, I’m afraid I won’t write anything for another year. How do you look back on a year like 2020 without the fear of cracking open a can of tears that will never end? I’m wrecked by the year, but somehow still standing. At the very same time, I found so much steadiness and peace, too. I made big decisions that truly changed my life—and maybe who I am. Here’s the 2020 annual review.
A sketch of what 2016 looks like, right now.
I felt giddy. It turns out, being separated from your phone doesn’t feel like problem, it feels like freedom. The tether in my pocket was gone, and I could be right here, with people, full attention and absorption. The music overwhelmed, surrounded me. The innovation sank into me. Each line was a delight, and because it was improv, it was here—and then it wasn’t. My laughter felt larger, full-bodied, round. My face was open-mouthed with rapture and love and the full sensation of music, not just in my ears, but a part of me. To be honest, being away from my phone felt like being high.
A quick primer on understanding key issues when talking about race, racism, and anti-racism in America and beyond.
If you’re ever stuck or waffling in a decision, here’s a phrase and a short-hand that I love that helps remind me to take action: “Try it and see.” It’s something I use when I don’t know whether or not to do something. (It doesn’t work in ALL instances, but it certainly helps when I’m stuck.)
This time we’re living in right now is exhausting, and I’m baffled by all of the extra zeal towards getting more done, and being extra productive, and “making the most” of our quarantine time. I don’t think this is the time to make the most of it. Sure, if you have the energy and the drive to make things, do it. If you’re struggling and scrambling to put things together and pay bills and keep your jobs, I completely understand. But that’s not what I’m hearing from people. People feel vulnerable, they’re struggling to focus, they’re zombied out on their phones, they’re completely overwhelmed by childcare and jobs.